Collection of parents‘ questions

Templates for declarations of consent are available on the Internet. Please make sure that it is clearly formulated (e.g. “With my signature I agree that …”), contains the intended use of the photo and mentions the rights of the person concerning deletion, information and opposition.

It is not advisable to use the same password for all accounts, because once hackers have found this out in an attack, they can use it to access all your accounts and cause even more damage. Passwords are best managed offline, on a piece of paper, or e.g. on your mobile phone in a “password safe” app.

Reflect your own use of devices and online media! Use them as much as necessary and as little as possible. There are apps that allow you to keep track of how much time you have spent with which mobile phone function, for example, which can help you get an overview of your own usage behavior. Plan for strict offline times and stick to them, e.g. during meals and before going to bed. Plan times when you as a family are engaged in real-life activities such as a walk in the forest, a picnic in the park or a board game.

If you do not want these pictures of your child to be published, first contact the person who uploaded the picture and ask them to delete it. The best thing to do is to set a deadline for removing the photo.
Service providers, e.g. social networks, are also obliged to delete photos that have been published illegally, i.e. without permission. To do this, they must provide a way to easily report the photos.
If none of these requests are successful, the only remaining option is to go to the police or a lawyer. How much they can do, however, also depends on the extent of the violation of personal rights.

First of all, it is important to talk to the child about the topic at an early stage, preferably before he or she is on social networks. An empathetic conversation about the topic gives your child the feeling that you are a competent contact person should he or she get into a difficult situation. Furthermore, it can relieve the shame and the feeling of being affected by it alone, if the children know in time that cyberbullying exists. Also, share with your child your own online experiences and online mistakes.
Strengthen the self-confidence and self-efficacy of your child! Discuss with him/her that it is appropriate to have a healthy dose of mistrust when using the Internet and to listen to his/her own gut feeling.
Make it clear to him that the same “rules of conduct” should apply on the Internet as in real life – and that you are liable to prosecution if you forward or publish insulting or embarrassing content. Practice data economy and data security with him, but also tolerance and empathy!
Refrain from using media bans as an educational tool. For fear of being deprived of media, children often try to deal with Internet problems on their own and then no longer turn to their parents.
Ask at school if they have the opportunity to run cyberbullying prevention programs.

The impact of the consumption of Internet pornography and the extent of this impact depends on various factors. Girls usually react differently than boys, and real-life relationship experiences, with love partners but also with parents, play a major role. Also the own personality, the social environment and the own value system have an influence.

The website www.ipus4family.eu offers a lot of help to get in touch with your child on this sensitive issue, in seven European languages. There are many case studies from different European countries as well as tips and suggestions for philosophising with children about responsible media use.

Frequently used flirt apps by teenagers are e.g. Tinder (connected to Facebook, login is only possible with fb-profile), Lovoo, Bumble (here only girls can contact boys, not vice versa), Badoo, Jaumo and Zoosk. But of course new apps are constantly being developed and it is hard to predict which apps will be popular in half a year or next year. Therefore, the most important precaution is to stay in touch with your child and to keep yourself regularly informed.

The ability to assess whether a source is credible and to critically question information is called information literacy. It is a core competence, especially for children and young people who get most of their information from the Internet. This graphic by IFLA (https://www.ifla.org/publications/node/11174) brings the individual steps to the point very nicely. Why not take a look at the graphic with your child or hang it up above the family computer.

One reason may be that they simply infer from themselves to others – since they themselves find nude pictures of women very erotic, they assume that a picture of their genitals will also please other people. It can also be a sign of insecurity: they go for the whole picture, skip longer contact initiations that increase the danger of rejection, and try to convince with “naked facts”. The deliberate crossing of boundaries gives them a feeling of power. Often boys also try to test their masculinity in this way. In contrast to consensual sexting, girls or women are usually sent the dickpics without their consent. This is punishable in Germany (unauthorised distribution of pornographic writings). Which reaction to the unwanted picture is best, however, depends strongly on the situation and the personality of the recipient. Apart from ignoring or giving a clear answer, there is also the possibility of filing a complaint with the police, for which purpose a screenshot of the chat history should be taken.